::humbled::

it can be a dangerous thing to ask "why". my husband gently reminded me of this not too long ago. and it is especially dangerous to ask "why" of our Maker. you see because, we never really know why. we never really know why He does what He does. scripture tells us his ways are not our ways, and that the Lord sits on his throne and does what He pleases. even when we think we know why He's done what He's done, we most likely do not. He is a mysterious God who is jealous for his glory.

now if you can safely ask why, and it causes you to worship, then more power to ya. you ask "why" all you want. but for me, "why" is a very dangerous question... for me, the simple little word leads my heart to frustration, confusion, angst and doubt.

i've openly admitted that in the last three years i've struggled with trusting the Lord's plan for my life. i often ask why the Lord has allowed what he has, as if i deserve better... when the truth of the matter is i don't deserve anything the Lord has chosen to give me, whether gifts or redeemed trials. what i deserve is eternal separation from our Creator- and he has graciously extended mercy to me, and then offers multiple gifts upon that mercy. undeserving. that's what we are. that's what i am.

it takes several perspective shifts in my thoughts to remind myself of these truths. God is in control. God loves me. God has a perfect plan for my life. some days are easier than others. know that you are not alone if you struggle with believing these promises. especially if the Lord has allowed several trials in your life. these truths are even hard to believe when we're not experiencing hardship.

when we rest in these truths, we don't really need to know why God has allowed certain things to happen- because we're already believing its for our best. because he loves us. because he's in control. because its part of his perfect plan. because he's jealous for his glory. that's why.