too wonderful

one way the Enemy frequently attacks my heart in this season is by making me feel defeated. its amazing how i can read so many promises about the Lord and have him reveal himself so abundantly and consistently in my life and then one little prayer goes "unanswered" and i doubt everything he's proved to me that he is. i am so faithless! and yet he loves me the same... i'm so thankful that even in my wavering God loves me in his perfect way. i've never known such love!

a few days ago i was feeling weak and inadequate to fight hard against the lies that were coming my way... "you're never going to get pregnant" - "you're never going to find a job" - "you will always be in debt" - so silly right? but so believable in the moment... its amazing how some days the spiritual warfare is so intense you are literally fighting the battle moment by moment. God is gracious to meet me well on these days and to help me fight - but this day i was feeling particularly susceptible to Satan's schemes. i was on the phone with a sweet friend who challenged me and asked me what scripture i meditate on when feeling this way and this is what came to mind. i wanted to share with you so that you who may feel similarly to me may be encouraged.

in genesis, God promises Abraham that his offspring will be as numerous as the sand on the shore and the stars in the sky. many years go by and Sarah, his wife, is infertile. although God has promised them that their offspring will be as numerous as the stars in the sky, they panic and Sarah tells Abraham to sleep with their servant, Hagar. yeah, this kind of drama is in the bible, can you believe it? :) so Hagar becomes pregnant and of course drama ensues... but that's not the point of my story. Sarah and Abraham doubted God's promise - just as i do everyday with the ones he's promised me... and even after they mess everything up, God redeems it - as he always does. God appears to Sarah, years and years after she has stopped menstruating (in fact they think Sarah was around 90 years old when she gave birth to Isaac!) and tells her that she is going to conceive. now hang in here with me because this is where it gets really good! Sarah laughs when the Lord tells her that he is going to open her womb, and the Lord replies to Abraham, "'why did Sarah laugh and say, 'shall i indeed bear a child, now that i am old?' is anything too difficult for the Lord?'"

is anything too difficult for the Lord? in some translations the word, "difficult" translates to the word, "wonderful"...

is anything too wonderful for the Lord?

anything? what are you not trusting the Lord for? nothing is too wonderful for the Lord. nothing. our God is able! i believe Lord! help my unbelief.

longing

it is safe to say that i have longed for many things in this season: a more consistent job. a child. a house. a dog :). for our loans to be paid off. to be healed. no more pain. to sleep through an entire night consistently throughout the month. for my brother and some dear friends to be saved. but more than ever, i have longed for heaven with more longing than i ever have before...

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth; for the first heaven and the first earth passed away, and there is no longer any sea. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, made ready as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne, saying, "Behold, the tabernacle of God is among men, and He will dwell among them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself will be among them, and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away." And He who sits on the throne said, "Behold, I am making all things new." And He said, "Write, for these words are faithful and true." Then He said to me, "It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give to the one who thirsts from the spring of the water of life without cost. He who overcomes will inherit these things, and I will be his God and he will be My son."

i can't even begin to imagine what heaven will be like. but it (ironically) brings tears to my eyes to know that God has promised me a place where i won't cry anymore! or long anymore. free from pain. no more illness! no more hurting the ones i love. but will live in perfect harmony with my God, and the ones i love most! oh come back even now Lord Jesus this minute! glory to God for promising me this place i don't deserve.